


Dusk Comfort

by ForeverDoesntExist



Series: Don't Leave My Side [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Cringe fest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Shoma, M/M, Reassuring Yuzuru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 01:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17071172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverDoesntExist/pseuds/ForeverDoesntExist
Summary: A sequel of sorts to the fluffiest wedding of the century.As we know Shoma had always felt unworthy, will everything finally be out in the open?





	Dusk Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Some people made fluffy suggestions (Yes I'm looking at you K1mHeechu1), and I just tried to fit them all in! Hahah I tried :P  
> Please leave some comments to tell me your thoughts.
> 
> Also, you know what's cute?  
> This right here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16820122
> 
> We're going to make Yuzusho sharing clothes a trend and you can't stop us.

 

“Shoma.”

“Shooooma.”

No answer.

_Is he ignoring me, again? Damn, that's twice today. I swear I didn't mean to throw away his favorite socks._

They were just ugly and decided their own fate apparently.

Soft snore.

_Oh shit, he’s really sleeping this time._

Yuzuru was about to jump on top of the un-responding lump stretched on the bed, before he changed his mind and settled for just lying down next to it. His self-control kept in check.

For once.

_Last time I tried a move like that…It didn’t end well._

He scooted closer to the burrito version of a skater in front of him, until he could actually feel his breathing on his own face. The older one realized he had never taken time to fully admire his husband’s relaxed expression.

Truth be told, he didn’t have many opportunities to appreciate Shoma’s unguarded face, completely devoid of any tension or worry. Competitions had come and gone, but unfortunately, their life was never easy or laid back.

Obstacles, injuries, and many other setbacks were constantly thrown at them, and every day seemed to be a struggle with some new battle lurking at every turn.

The fact that he could get home to this.

_It’s something I’ll never let go of._

_Not for any medal._

_Not for anything._

With his fingertip, very carefully as not to wake up the still completely still figure, he traced his eyebrows, most of the time they would be stuck in a furrowed brow, either in a scolding manner or a worried one.

Yuzuru liked this version best.

With the pad of his index finger, he continued his journey towards the younger one's nose. He knew he was sensitive there. It was one of his favorite spots, after all. How he loved to bop that small nose just to spite him.

Sometimes it earned him a kick or a weak punch.

Yuzuru thought it was worth it, every time.

Looking back to check if smaller one had stirred from his deep slumber, he congratulated himself for his stealthy abilities and carried on with his delicate adventure.

Next were his lips.

Tracing his cupid’s bow and the forever slightly-cracked skin on his upper lip, he caressed it and wondered how many times he had warned him to use his chapstick. Yuzuru couldn’t stop himself from reaching closer to his husband, feeling daring.

Would he wake up? It was worth the risk.

He adjusted his head, closed his eyes and softly brushed his own lips on the sleeping man’s.

Yuzuru wished that these lips were the last ones he got to kiss in this lifetime.

“You are a creep, you know?”

The taller opened his eyes and quickly assessed his situation. He was stuck a few millimeters from his initial target and above him a set of eyes looked back at him, still expecting him to start explaining their current predicament.

Yuzuru quickly scooted away, and back to a sitting position.

“Hey! I mean…good morning!”

If his voice sounded way too pitched and nervous, he didn’t notice.

 

-

 

Yet Shoma did.

_What on earth was that idiot trying to do?_

“It’s like half past five pm, and I just took a nap,” the younger skater stated with a pointed look towards the clock sitting on their bedside table, “that leads to another question, why were you touching me in my sleep?”

_Not that I didn't enjoy it._

“I was not-”

“Yes, you were.”

Yuzuru looked like a little kid caught stealing cookies, and the redness from his cheeks had spread to his entire face. Shoma would have laughed if he wasn't trying to keep a serious face at his husband's antics.

“Well if you had woken up when I called for you-“

“I see, it’s either I wake up when you have a dumb thing to say to me or I get molested in my sleep,” he faked his most disappointed look, “could have told me that before the wedding.”

The older one looked more annoyed by the second and Shoma was loving every bit of it.

“You make it sound like it’s wrong to touch my husband,” that was enough for Shoma to realize once again that he was about to lose this battle in about two seconds, apparently, he still hadn't learned to not underestimate the other, “maybe I should not touch my husband at all?”

_Damn you._

"I didn’t say that.”

“Thought so," the smirk on Yuzuru's lips made him want to punch him for the second time that day and he thanked his ancestors for all the patience they had clearly bestowed upon him.

“What did you need me awake for anyway?”

_This better be worth it._

“Because they're here! Finally!” Yuzuru yelled excitedly, and completely oblivious to the fact that he was far too big and far too old to jump on top of beds and almost making his husband fly off it as a consequence.

Shoma just resigned himself to his fate and held on to his partner’s hips so he would stop bouncing up and down, “What’s here?”

“The samples!”

_Samples of what?_

“Elaborate on that, please.”

Yuzuru narrowed his eyes at him and shook the skater currently trapping him by his waist, looking completely offended through it all, "Wake up!”

_Lord help me survive through this abuse._

"The photographer we hired, finally sent us the samples of the wedding photos so we could choose the ones we want.”

_How can he expect me to know about this, I was never married before?_

“Okay, got it," it seemed interesting, but he wondered if he could still be allowed to go back to sleep, "now you can stop yelling and I can go back to sl-"

He thought wrong.

"Oh, hell no," he got off the bed and Shoma cursed himself for being so weak, he instantly felt cold at the lack of the other's familiar warmth, "you are picking these with me."

"Am I what, now?"

If he thought it was cold before, he nearly had a heart attack when Yuzuru decided it was a good idea to grab the covers and take them all off him, at once. Throwing them all on the floor without any ceremony.

He groaned and remembered the times where he thought Yuzuru was the softest and most sensitive person he had ever met. It took him a few months of dating to realize he had been wrong. Completely wrong.

A gracious and soft Yuzuru was the performer version of him.

Meant to be seen by everyone and adored by the public.

The creature-he-unfortunately-fell-in-love-with named Yuzuru was not like that. He wasn't graceful half the time and he had two left feet, giving the shorter one panic attacks every time they are just walking side by side, on solid ground and one of them suddenly disappears, only to be found down on his butt and laughing like a hyena. 

He sure liked to have the apartment cleaner than the average person, to a freaky point, but he wasn't very organized on his own and sometimes forgot his own birthday.

Shoma always thought that it would be hard to share a home with such an apparent perfectionist, but that fear quickly disappeared into smoke. Turns out, he was the one that had to remind him of simple things like eating and sleeping. He figured it was hard for him to adjust to a life where you don't have your mother by your side twenty-four seven with only one goal in mind to worry about: skating.

With time Shoma believed the other would adapt, and to be honest, he was doing pretty good given his previous lifestyle. Also, it gave him some satisfaction that Yuzuru was actually human and he could be useful to him. Taking care of him was something he secretly cherished.

Still, he couldn't be by his side every hour of the day, so he was thankful that the only thing Yuzuru seemed to have an internalized compass for, was his medication and his inhaler.

_And even so, I have like a dozen inside my bag just in case._

And finally, he wasn't all soft and delicate all the freaking time.

An angry or frustrated Yuzuru was not pretty.

It could get really bad really fast.

As in stuff flies around the room bad.

He was glad he at least seemed to possess some spidey senses that told him where to aim stuff, and still keep Shoma inside the safety zone.

It was both hilarious and terrifying.

One day, he found himself sitting down on their couch playing on his phone as usual, when suddenly a pillow flew over his head, he looked up from his game and apparently Yuzuru had been watching the rerun of his free skate on TV and had deemed it a monstrosity to mankind.

Shoma had almost dropped his phone at the sudden object thrown over him and Yuzuru thought he had hurt him somehow.

It took him thirty-two minutes to assure Yuzuru that it hadn't touched him, and pillows weren't exactly the most harmful thing on the planet.

From that day onwards, he could safely walk through their living room while the older studied his programs obsessively, with no fear of being hit with the newest decor.

It had been funny when Javier and Zhenya had come over and wondered where all the pillows were.

So, if you allied his lack of patience to his goal-driven mind, it didn't get pretty. What Yuzuru wanted, he got.

Hence why Shoma was now trying to keep himself from shivering on their large bed and glaring at the taller with his most intimidating look.

_He's going to pay for this._

He was about to grab him and throw him back to bed and show him exactly how, when he noticed that Yuzuru was looking up and down at him.

_What the-_

 

-

 

Yuzuru was a simple man. With simple tastes and likes.

He liked skating, he liked ice cream and hot chocolate.

Yet as he looked at Shoma wearing his clothes, he found out a new favorite thing.

Wearing his loose sweatshirt and comfy track-suit pants, Shoma looked like he was about to drown in them at any moment. The pants were too long and seemed to cover his legs, his feet and still have fabric enough to make another set of them. The sweatshirt was so big on him it looked like some kind of dress a kid stole from his mom and decided to try it on. His hands were lost somewhere on the sleeves and Yuzuru wanted to squeal like the grown-up that he was.

_Would he kick me if I pinched his cheeks?_

"I can hear your brain gears turning."

_Oh shit._

"Shoma, what are you wearing?"

Shoma seemed to have completely forgotten about that fact as he looked down almost in a panic.

"I was tired and just grabbed the first thing I saw on the closet."

His tone was nonchalant, yet the redness of his typical blush told Yuzuru otherwise.

"I see, it's amazing how you can find a full set of my clothes half-asleep when I can barely find them wide awake."

The smaller one seemed ready to just dig a hole and hide for the rest of his at-the-moment-miserable life, so Yuzuru decided to stop the teasing and let him live. As a reward for not hurting him when he accidentally woke him up from his sacred nap.

"It's not my fault you don't seem to remember how to fold clothes like a normal human being."

Yuzuru snorted.

_I was the one that taught you how to fold clothes in the first place._

_And your mother still thanks me every day for it._

"You are right, I should fix my part of the closet," he couldn't resist adding, "Oh I know, maybe we should buy a different closet, so my clothes just don't get all over yours?"

If he looked panicked before, now he just looked afraid. Still, he tried to save some of his pride.

"Do whatever you want, if you're going to keep mocking me I'm going back to be-"

"Okay sorry," Yuzuru tried to salvage the situation and keep his husband out of the bed's inviting clutches, "come on make some space and let's see them."

 

-

 

Shoma had expected a few samples. Okay, maybe a lot considering who he was married to, but God not this many.

_Did we spend half the reception party taking photos? How drunk was I, that I don't remember any of these?_

He noticed that most of them were taken when they were not even aware. The photographer sure was talented, he had managed to capture their friends most hilarious moments.

“Why does Javi look like he’s drunk in every single one of them?” He pointed at some of the Spaniard's pictures and in each one he was either holding onto his girlfriend for support or trying to kiss half of team Japan.

“I don’t know, it was his idea to bring the sangria.”

_Spanish people._

“Look at Marina, she looks so annoyed.”

It was true, Javier's girlfriend looked ready to leave after the few dozen pictures of the Spaniard doing the most ridiculous things.

The "matador" poses didn't help.

“Okay time to choose ours.”

There were hundreds and hundreds of pictures. Only of the two.

“How about this one?” Yuzuru pointed to a photo where they were running down the aisle, just after being declared officially married

_That one I remember._

He couldn't help but notice how his husband looked completely and utterly happy, his smile almost blinding.

“No.”

Yuzuru looked at him sideways but relented. Fishing again through the massive pile still in need of attention.

“Look at this one!” And by this one, he meant a picture where they stood side by side with their arms linked. They had posed like that as a joke reference to their podium incident years ago. “We look adorable!”

_Correction, you look adorable, I look like a kid whose lunchbox was stolen and is about to cry._

“Nope.”

“Fine…” the older one looked mildly annoyed but continued his search, “oh this one is perfect, it even has like the perfect light, your highlights look so-”

“Not that one either.”

“Seriously?” Yuzuru looked incredulous and Shoma wanted to just avoid this whole thing altogether. Still, he wanted to comply with the other one's wishes so he just tried his best.

“There’s a lot of them,” he gestured to the mess in front of them, “let’s just find a decent one.”

 

-

 

“Shoma Uno-Hanyu.”

Shoma considered himself a strong and focused man, both off and on the ice. He had many strong points for sure, but his most notable one were his nerves of steel and unbreakable focus, an ability to not be affected by almost anything.

A quality that not many skaters possessed and ended up being the downfall of a vast majority of them.

Even Yuzuru always praised him for his strong mindset, and that made the younger feel some sense of pride.

_At least I’m not a complete failure to him, I guess._

But after being married for less than a month, he found out there was something that made, in fact, turn his head into mush.

_Shoma Uno-Hanyu._

It didn’t matter how any time his husband said it, it didn’t matter what he was doing at the time.

It got to him.

Every. Single. Time.

Their lives hadn’t changed at all after the wedding, and he easily forgot that it happened at all. On one side he was happy for that. He might never admit it out loud, but he had been scared out of his mind, that after the wedding Yuzuru would have some epiphany and realize he wasn’t worth his time. His fears were of course, irrational. The two had been living together for quite some time now, there were almost no secrets that would come up at any second nor any doubts about their relationship.

_I really hope it stays that way forever, or for however long he wants me._

And yet, every time he heard Yuzuru call him by his now full name, everything came back to him.

They were married.

_It really happened._

_He really chose me to be his._

_Me._

“Yeah?” he answered dumbly looking back at his partner.

“What’s wrong with you?” Yuzuru asked him, looking more concerned than annoyed at this point, “If you don’t feel like looking at the photos we can do it later, there’s no rush…”

“It would be the same thing…”

_I will still look like an ugly kid next to you._

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t matter,” there was no point in ruining the other one's excitement, so he decided to just give him full control over it all, “just pick the ones you like better and have them made, I will be okay with whatever you choose.”

“Wait,” Yuzuru didn't seem to let go of the matter that easily, “what are you not telling me?”

“It's nothing” he got up, pushing the pile of pictures off his lap, “maybe I’m just not the best person to judge photos with you, you can ask Javi or Satoko to help you ch-”

“Hey,” he hadn’t even managed to fully get on his feet when a soft hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, sitting once again by the older one's side “I don’t want to choose my wedding photos with someone else.”

“I’m sorry…” his reply was so low that Yuzuru had to make an effort to hear it.

“Don’t apologize, love,” he cupped Shoma's face in his hands and urged him to explain, “just tell me what’s wrong.”

The tenderness with which Yuzuru softly caressed his cheek with the palm of his hand, nearly brought him to tears.

_Great. This is just great._

“Whatever it is, I’ll fix it I swear.”

There it was. Yuzuru’s constant worry and need to make everything alright.

If he were to be honest, in the beginning, it irked him to no end that the older skater seemed to have this obsession with solving everyone’s problems. He thought it was too much, too fake and too overboard.

Later he came to understand that it was a genuine gift that his, at the time, friend had acquired after years of having to deal with setback after setback. No one knew how to come back after a downfall like Yuzuru Hanyu.

Over the years he had also come to realize that sometimes he wasn’t really angry at his senior for being concerned over people in such an overbearing fashion.

He was simply, jealous.

_Stupid fucker liked to coddle everyone when he should only look at me._

Once Yuzuru had understood where the hostile glares where coming from, he seemed to stop being so open with his affection and started basically showering him with some much-needed attention.

Once again annoying Shoma to another degree.

_I wanted his attention, not a freaking mother wannabe._

He enjoyed every single moment. But that’s something the young skater would never admit out loud.

Ever.

It warmed his entire being to know that he would always have someone to make it alright when things got rough. Someone to tell him that things were not as bad as they seemed. It was something that he would treasure forever. Once more thanking his lucky stars for bringing this man to him.

He looked at the man beside him and felt like it wasn’t fair to just keep avoiding it any further.

 

-

 

Yuzuru dropped his hand from his husband’s face and with a forlorn expression, he sighed, deciding to leave the other be. He knew that sometimes he needed to let the younger one alone with his thoughts, there was no point on pressuring him or rush him. He usually just took his time to ponder things and rearrange his thoughts.

A complete opposite from himself, who liked to talk first and think later when he was around Shoma.

It got him in trouble most of the time. But it was so worth it the end.

He was about to put everything back into the box when Shoma grabbed the hand he had just lowered and brought into his own.

The older skater looked at him with a confused look.

_How I wish I could decipher how his head works._

_How I wish you would just let go when you are with me._

“I just don’t like the way I look on the pictures.”

 

-

 

"What do you mean? We can choose others-"

"It's because of you!"

"Me...?" Yuzuru looked down at the photos and then back to the other skater, "You don't like how I look in the pictures?"

Shoma wanted to cry.

_No, you look like a freaking angel in all of them because you don't even have a bad angle, while I look like a grumpy Smurf._

He grabbed Yuzuru's hand tighter in his and hurriedly pressed a kiss on it, cringing at the feeling of his rough lips touching the smooth skin under them, trying to somehow compensate his inability to convey his feelings.

"No, that's not what I meant," he tried his best to gather his thoughts and not say anything stupid that might hurt the older one, again, "I meant I don't like the way I look beside you, on pictures."

Yuzuru looked more confused by the second.

"So, you don't like the way we look together...?"

"Exactly!"

_Oh fuck._

The older one’s face fell instantly and with his softest voice, he asked a question that nearly broke Shoma’s heart, “Is this some twisted way of telling me something? If you regret any of this you can just tell it straight to my face-“

"Wait no, that sounded wrong," once again he begged Yuzuru to listen to him as he tried to make him understand without messing up for a third time, "let me explain, you know that I suck at communicating."

After a hesitant nod, almost as if afraid to hear more, Shoma continued.

"Look at the pictures," he pointed to the closest one, where they could see each other holding a knife about to cut through their wedding cake, "what do you see?"

Yuzuru looked completely lost but still obliged to his request, "I see myself, happy and in love with the man I married."

Shoma wanted to coo at his cuteness, "Well, all I see is someone so beautiful it looks unbelievable and then I see is an ugly hobbit next to you."

 

-

 

"What?"

"Don't you see-"

"Are you serious right now?" Yuzuru looked murderous and he knew it.

For how long had Shoma thought like this?

For how long had Shoma though he was somehow inferior, even if only in the matter of looks?

Where there even more doubts about where they stood with each other?

"Shoma, is there anything else you want to tell me about? Any other crazy idea you might have about the differences between us?"

The smaller one seemed hesitant to answer but still whispered, "It's not an idea, everyone knows you could do so much better than me."

Yuzuru could not hold it anymore. He grabbed Shoma's face between his hands and pressed their lips together. Hurriedly. Urgently.

The smaller one didn't even question it, and that made Yuzuru's heart break even more.

_He would take whatever I gave to him._

_That's why sometimes I feel like he's just waiting for me to leave him._

_Even after all this time._

Trying to keep the desperation at bay and tasting his own tears rather than the familiar taste of his husband, he pulled away. And between breathing and trying to come up with words, he forced Shoma to look into his eyes, still keeping his face trapped between his hands.

He needed him to understand.

_Once and for all._

"Listen to me, I don't care what other people say. I never did. I mean...have you met me?" he laughed between his tears and sounded like he was drowning, yet he didn't seem to care.

Shoma wasn't in a better state, looking like had thrown caution to the wind and just let his tears fall freely, laughing along with him. Once he realized that the other was struggling to breathe, panic started to set in. He put his hands on the older one's chest rubbing it in an attempt to make it somehow easier to let the air in.

_He thinks he's undeserving of my love, yet I'm the one that doesn't deserve him._

"Just breathe, we can talk later-"

"No, you listen, I talk, " Yuzuru knew that it was a long overdue conversation, he couldn't let Shoma keep this kind of feelings inside him any longer, "I didn't marry you or started to date you because of others. I did it all because I knew you weren't perfect."

At that Shoma started crying harder and the older one was quick to try and wipe his tears away as he carried on, "I knew you weren't perfect for others, yet you are perfect for me. There is no one in this world that knows me better than you, no one that makes me feel safer than you, no one that gets me better than you and most importantly no one who puts up with my crap as much as you."

"I do it because-"

"You do it because you love me, yet tell me...who could be more perfect for me?"

_Can't you see?_

"Anyone else?"

_You fool._

"You really think anyone else would be a better fit for me than yourself?"

"Many people love you, they can learn-"

_That's it._

"Shoma I can't fight on my own," it was true, this could never work when only one side seemed to believe in the relationship and the other was constantly worried about being left behind, "I can tell you that I love a thousand times yet it's up to you to believe in me."

Yuzuru wished he could make him believe, in him, in himself. Yet there were limits to one's powers over others. They could only fight through this. Together

"And would you really give up that easily, if someone else tried to steal me away from you? Would you just give up and let someone else take me?"

The reply came instantly.

"No!" he immediately seemed ashamed at his outburst, but still kept his eyes trained solely on Yuzuru's, burning and raw, "I would always fight for you, as long as you want me to."

The other skater smiled despite the situation. It felt good to know the other wouldn't completely give up on them when things got difficult, or bolt at the first chance that came about.

To know that the love of his life would fight for him, it was an indescribable feeling.

"Then you know that you are good for me, at least, you just don't trust me when I say that I love you, is that it?"

Shoma seemed to contemplate his answer as if not wanting to call his lover a liar, or not trustworthy, "It's not about not trusting you..."

"Then...?"

"It's about not really believing that it's possible, that someone like you can love someone like me."

_Oh, Shoma..._

"Okay you need to stop thinking about me like that, it doesn’t any make sense, " the smaller skater looked confused, so he continued, "you have lived with me for some years now, do you really think I'm perfect?"

At that Shoma looked a bit undecided, "You are..."

"That's a lie and you know it," it was the truth, despite what others may believe, "you still remind me that food is a thing and keep at least ten inhalers in your bag, yes I know about them, so basically I literally can't live without you."

Shoma still shook his head, unrelenting, "That doesn't make you any less perfect..."

"For you maybe," it was such an impossible to fight, the harder battles are the one within yourself and Yuzuru’s heart broke for not being able to help him fully. Whatever they manage to fix today might be only the surface of the younger one’s pain, yet he still kept trying, "for everyone else I'm an annoying brat, don't even deny it."

"It doesn't matter what they-"

"So, you understand my point?" Yuzuru laughed and patted his husband's unruly hair, "What others think doesn't matter when the one beside you is the perfect person for you, and for you only."

"I'm sorry I'm just...a mess." Shoma looked so pitiful that Yuzuru just pulled into his arms and made sure he let everything out. A few moments later he could hear the soft sobs subside and whispered into his hair. "You think I don't have insecurities as well?"

"What?"

He smiled at the incredulous tone on his husband's voice, "It's true, you forget I'm the older one in this relationship. I'm supposed to take care of you, not the other way around. Isn't that what most people believe to be right anyway?"

From his shoulder, he could hear his muffled reply, "People can go f-"

"My point exactly."

He heard Shoma sniff one last time and pull away from him, his face red and his eyes still wet, "Thank you."

"I know this won't fix everything, but I think it will be a start if you at least remember three things," Shoma seemed like he was about to argue and probably assure he was fine but decided to close his mouth and nod and the other's sharp look, "One, you need to remind yourself that I love you, above all else, I love you more than I ever loved anyone and that will never change, remember our wedding vows. I meant every word of it."

That seemed to do the trick again, and once more the smaller one's cheeks were marred with tears on his soft skin. Without hesitation, Yuzuru reached to him and with his thumb tried to fix what he had caused.

"Second, people are never going to be happy about anything we do. They are always going to find something to throw us down at any given opportunity. If we start listening to others then we can consider our own life practically over, for they will think that they own it when in truth, they never will. We owe nothing to others. Only to ourselves."

Despite the tears, Shoma nodded as if agreeing. He knew Yuzuru was used to deal with the outside pressure for far longer than himself. Yet he had never failed to keep himself going despite whatever people might throw at him.

"That leads to the third one, love yourself above anyone else. You might think that loving someone completely and fully, is enough for you, but it isn't. Besides that, you need to love yourself, because the person you love will suffer as well if you don't."

"I'm sorry I-"

"Shh don't apologize," he reflected on his own part in all of this and the outcome wasn't the best, "because I should be the one saying sorry. I've been by your side for years and yet I failed to realize all of this. I've been too busy, too self-centered-"

 

-

 

He was stopped by a finger on his lips, preventing him from going any further with his rant, "It's not your fault, none of this is."

Noticing that the older one was about to deny it, he stopped him again, "No, you listen, now,” and Yuzuru nodded obediently.

"I think I can learn...I don't think it's a matter of loving myself, I know who I am and what I'm worth, and I can honestly say I never struggled with that aspect of my life. I think It's more a...case where I need to learn to love myself when I'm with you and believe that what we have is real and you're not going to leave me tomorrow."

Yuzuru seemed relieved at this, this was something he could help with. He was quick to reassure him for what felt like the hundred time that day, yet he would gladly do it forever, "Well then, in that case, I'll just have to show you how much I love you for the rest of our lives."

The rest of their lives.

That was something Shoma could barely wait for.

"I can't say I'll mind that."

The taller one leaned down and rested their foreheads together, "I really hope you won't, because I intend to start right now."

 

-

 

“Hello.”

“Hey man, how are you?”

“Still the same, I guess.”

Shoma looked around the apartment.

_Where the heck is that moron when I need him?_

_And who the hell is this guy at my door, that apparently knows me?_

“Well," the stranger said awkwardly rubbing his neck, this exchange seemed to get weirder by the second for both of them, "Good to know, I guess.”

 The man seemed to realize his purpose for being there in the first place and took a large rectangular item for his backpack.

“Here’s your album,” he passed it onto Shoma's hands who finally figured who this person was, “I hope everything is in order and just like you guys asked.”

“I’m sure it is, Yu-,” he caught himself and decided to try something, "my husband is very thorough with these things, don’t worry.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is,” the photographer smiled kindly, “he even made my job easy.”

“What do you mean?”

It was late, he was sleepy and mostly hungry. He just needed Yuzuru to be done and then they could finally leave and go have dinner. God knew the streets were going to be hellish due to last day Christmas shopping, but he couldn't resist at the tempting promise of a good steak. Since the start of the season, he hadn't had the opportunity to give in to such luxuries.

One thing he was sure of, was that he definitely didn't need a random guy being cryptic.

_Okay, maybe not random but I really don't remember this guy being on the wedding at all._

“Didn’t you notice?”

Upon Shoma's completely clueless look, the man took the album from his hands and opened it randomly, "Can you see it now?”

The skater gasped. In every single photo where they both stood together, Yuzuru was looking at nothing. But him.

It didn’t matter what they were doing. The ring’s exchange, the arrival at the venue, the cutting of the cake, the fireworks. Nothing mattered because his husband’s eyes were not trained on their expensive cake or the sparkles that exploded all around them, creating a magical scenery out of a fairytale.

No, his eyes were focused solely on him.

_How could I not notice…?_

He lifted his eyes from the book currently on his grasp and looked at the smiling photographer in front of him.

"I hadn't really noticed."

The man's smile was warm and kind.

Wasn't the photographer we hired, an old guy that used to take pictures at events and was friends with the idiot and Javi?

“Thank you.”

“It's alright, sometimes it takes us longer to understand things, but it's never too late." The man seemed to ponder on something for a few seconds and decided to not leave just yet, “You know what they say about photos?”

Shoma shook his head in denial.

_What the-_

“The best thing about a picture is that it never changes, even when the people in it do.”

"I'm sorry, I don't understand-"

“It means that even though two people may change along the years, as they should, what you can see in the pictures is never changing,” he gestured towards the album still in the shorter one’s hands, “and it seems to me that whatever you got there is worth fighting for, so it won’t ever change.”

The skater looked at the album one last time, before deciding to end the mystery once and for all.

“Hey what did you say your name-”

“What are you doing?”

Shoma looked at his side, Yuzuru looked like he had just gotten out of the shower and was looking at him as if he had lost his mind. The younger one looked to the door in front of him and where once stood the man who had just talked to him, he could see nothing else but an empty hallway.

_What the hell…_

He closed the door and faced his husband once more. He looked beautiful as always. Would he ever stop being breathless when he sees him?

_Not happening._

Instead of answering, he just marched up to his partner and pulled him down to his level, crashing his lips into the taller one’s. Yuzuru let out a surprised gasp before the two of them lost themselves in each other. He could still taste the minty toothpaste on his husband and couldn’t help but giggle like a teenager.

_God, what have I become?_

He pulled away, reasoning that if he didn’t stop, Yuzuru wouldn’t relent either and he would have to get his inhaler for the tenth time that week. Still, the older one’s whine wasn’t missed by his own ears.

“We need to go out and get some food and you don’t need to have an asthma attack today, or close to it anyway.”

“Hey, we’ve done way more strenuous activities and I was just fine.”

_Oh, God._

“Do I want to know the reason for the sudden attack thought?”

“I just realized something.”

“What is it? That I’m a better skater than you? Took you long enough.”

_I swear this guy is going to be the reason I will end up in jail one day._

“Not really, but I guess you really don’t want to know anyway.”

He knew it would eat at him to not know and he was right, two seconds later Yuzuru pushed towards the wall and trapped him there.

“Tell meeee”

Given their height difference, he couldn’t help but reach out and touch his husband’s lips, still warm from the friction between his own.

“You love me.”

The incredulous look the other gave him was priceless yet a fraction of a second later he seemed to remember something. A forgotten conversation for the time being. Yet now, it all seemed to come back to him.

Smiling down at him, he pressed their lips together once more, thoughts of food completely forgotten. And against familiar skin, he whispered.

“I’ve been waiting.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Hated it? Tell me everything ;)


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